My life is trash

They say we are what we eat, I say you live what your trash says you live. And I'm living hell.

I have undertaken a sociological experiment with myself and have come to that conclusion.

So please pay attention to the following findings if you are trying to decide whether you would be happy in my shoes (i.e. being a total loser).

Here's how it goes:

You live what you trash. Episode I

Day 1: The Big One

There is a day in the life of a jr lawyer when you f*** up big time, it can't be avoided. Sooner or later the Big One comes, and you enter into a spiral of stupid and avoidable mistakes which is very hard to come over.

So, you eat lunch and have dinner in front of your deask while trying to cope with disappointment on yourself, at times you can't stop tears (i.e. the bunch of tissues).

Day 2: You've got growing up to do

And you've got to rise from you own ashes and start climbing the mountain again. Losing confidence in yourself leads to more stupid mistakes, and you suddenly start questioning all your actions inside and outside work. First you try your luck with the lottery, wishing that you will become a millionaire and send many many people to ... (there is no translation for esparragar). But you are not lucky enough to win the lottery, losers don´t win the lottery for God's sake! There has to be another way, a professional way out of your missery... You look around your desk and decide it looks too personal and are determined to redecorate your life in a very proffesional way, and thus get rid of all those things that make your workplace less of a rat hole and more of a human desk.

Bye bye Wacky Woolies... Truth is, I really don't think it was necessary get rid of all my cute stuff, but I had to do something, and nothing better came up (resigning is not an option (yet)).

Day 3: Sheds and pieces

So you wake up, it is wednesday still, and you have to go to work. You plaster a smile to your face and try to confront the fact that you have to keep doing what you do, even if all of a sudden you feel your work is trash, your knowledge is trash and of course, your life is trash. All you can do now is start the climb to a better situation, right? WRONG.

Very very very wrong.

Day 4: The accident

There comes a time when you realise you may not be as sane as you thought, and you decide that holding a red hot metal bar cannot burn your fingers, cause, why would it? Physics don't exist, Walmart invented them, just like Christmas or Valentine's Day. Burnt fingers lead to sticky fingers, lots of plaster and freaking burning pain. Yet you have to load yourself with caffeine and keep rowing in your own personal galley.

Thank goodness, it is not so bad, and by the end of the day you are back to full health conditions, or are you?

Day 5: In sickness and in health

As Murphy once said, anything that can go wrong will go wrong. How very true, so, to add pain to the aggravation you get sick, very sick, as in thousands of tissues a day + old man's cough + teary eyes. And yet you have to go to the office again... and keep trying to fix your loss of grace despite the fact that all you want to do is go home and stay in bed all day long.

Worst of all, it that prior experience tells you this may last days, weeks, even months.

Day 6: Happy Birthday

And you turn 26 sitting in front of that desk, blowing your nose at a rate of 10 tissues and hour and being unable to celebrate as you feel you deserve. You sing happy birthday to yourself and receive greetings from family, friends and colleagues while still typing in front of your computer. It is then you realise your life is trash, you are caught up in a vicious circle of work, your ass is growing the size of your chair and your skin is ashy pale and sunlight hurts your eyes.

Time to shake up and make a slight change of scene and society. Well maybe not society, cause the good thing is, even if your life is trash, you share it with the best colleagues you could imagine.

And those colleagues may not be colleagues but good friends, who provide efficient and quality solutions to your trashy existance:

Ha ha ha, not too bad for a loser right?

Suck it! Such is life